sábado, 30 de marzo de 2013

Imagine a life without Philip...

...Imagine a life without Philip...

These words that came from a tv show (kingdom) made me think, made me remember what that name means to me, and as the sentence implies ...what if?:

What if , I hadn't  watched V of Vendetta; the first time I was cautivated by Stephen Fry.?
What if, I hadn't logged in to twitter and  followed Stephen Fry.?
What if, I hadn't spent all that time tweeting at #frys.?
What if, I hadn't kept in touch with my fluffiest friend even when he was sad & didn't want to talk much.?
What if, I hadn't insisted on talk with him via different social networks.?
What if, we hadn't given us a chance when we felt our love was beyond a simple friendship.?
What if , I hadn't imagined it was possible to love someone who was miles away?
What if, I hadn't took that flight.?

What if...?

After a bit more than 3 years being familiar with the name Philip ,...

Let me tell you what would've happened. I wouldn't be the happiest woman I am now!
I wouldn't have the best boyfriend in the whole world and wouldn't be the bride to be to a wonderful man.

Of course Philip himself had to had made his own choices; but how wonderful it is, when two people choices collide to follow one path.

This story began with Stephen Fry, and this man keeps reminding me that life is filled with choices; ones that can change your life.

I have decided to love a man no matter how far he is, no matter he lives in a place I don't know, no matter how hard it is to live together just because we are from different countries.

I've made up my mind to love this man no matter the difficulties laying ahead! Why you might ask...?

Because I have imagined a life without Philip.... And it Wouldn't be worth living!

sábado, 20 de febrero de 2010

2007 Finally at peace

It’s night and thoughts are wondering around... so here I am typing, don´t knowing how this will end.

2007 was THE YEAR, the year when my world was shocked, slapped it, turned around, shacked it, everything was upside down, and I can’t blame anyone else but me. That was the year I hurt a lot of people, more important my close family. I never imagined I could make my parents suffer that much, of course never intended to do it, but that doesn’t matter in the end I did.

I considered myself as a caring person, who likes to be in harmony with the people around me, but always in a way unhappy about who I was physically, mentally , spiritually , well just wasn’t happy, and because of that I got myself in a situation totally wrong but at the time gave me some temporary happiness and I don’t think it was happiness, it was momentaneous joy, and because I’d never felt it before, I didn’t see the awful consequences coming; meaning the suffer of the people I love, and depression , stress and anxiety attacks for myself.

Almost 3 years after, you might be thinking why Is she remembering that ???, well I thought about it ‘cause I see how my life has changed since that year, I’m healthy, I’m in peace with my family and most important with myself, I enjoy my work (sometimes I complain about it but yes I love having a job) , I have great friends, I’m starting to love myself and I’m writing and remembering about that time without tears in my face. Now I can be grateful of 2007; ‘cause when easily I can say it was the worst year of my life, it was also the best .

All in all 2007 :

  • Helped me change all my dark, negative things I was carrying since a long time.
  • Made me realize the value of my family and my best friend who always was there for me, and now I miss her so much (she’s living in another city).
  • It gave me the courage to travel, and study abroad
  • Made me taste the sour to distinguish the sweet time I’m living.
  • Is the reason I’m here sharing my feelings with all of you (lovely souls).

Dark times can bring the worst and best of us, in 2007 I was the worst no doubt about it, but I do believe after 2007 I’m following the right pad to be a better person, at least a happier one!.

As always I love you all and it is a great thing to share my deepest thoughts with you. I only wish you peace of soul and mind. And of course porn and o’s xoxoxox

sábado, 16 de enero de 2010

Lovely nights

It's been a while since my last post, but I think I've said it before; I only write when I'm in a specific mood when my brains wants to spit some thoughts into words!!

I don't think my posts will have an specific subject or theme, I will write what I feel at the moment.
I've always loved night time, it can be weird but is the time I feel more alive, my mind more cleared; who knows maybe in a past life I was a night creature, the point is that even I like a sunny warm day to go out for a walk and have a chat with a close friend, nights are for me and for me alone. Is the time when I can be with myself and let my mind go: sometimes to create, analize(to often I would say), dream or just to meditate about how my life is going.

I cannot understand people who can't be alone, years ago so called friends annoyed me with the classic frase "don't leave me alone", and because my insecurities about if I say no to them... I will myself be ended alone. What a contradiction... but yes be insecure make you do things you don't want. Of course when I needed som aid from those persons I only got NO for an answer.

We live in a world where the majority likes the crowd, the noise, the more "friends" you´ve got the more "popular" you are. And being the opposite had made my life so difficult, until through different circumstancse I learned and still learning to accept who am I and what do I stand for. I like the quiet, I like to be surrounded by nature and maybe I have a few friends, but are exactly that: truly friends. And maybe because I started to accept everything that conforms myself is why I enjoy so much my lovely nights!.

And don't get me wrong; I like to go to parties, reunions, I love concerts, cinema and more social situations, but because I want to, not because some people say I have to.

Readers, it is a lovely night tonight!! I only wish you peace and joy of soul, and as always "bear with me" meaning forgive my english writing errors!!
Love u all!

domingo, 6 de diciembre de 2009

First entry!

Well first of all, I have to admit I'm a little scared about writing. The main reason is because my english is crapity crap, but oki doki Im gonna write!!.
First how do I get here,I believe one thing lead to another; first of all I'm a Stephen Fry´s fan (crazy some say, what do they know??)which lead me to his website, which lead me to twitter, and I was amazed there was a way to talk to the man. Well on twitter I started knowing pretty interesting people, who really make me believe twitter is a soul to soul talk without any body distraction. I´ve met lovely people especially at #frys a virtual, pub, bar, coffer shop, copulatorioum thither all depends in what kind of interest you are looking for.

And well those lovely souls at #frys lead to start my own blog (you know who u are!! R, R and V) and here I am in front of my lappy top writing. I should say I´ve done some writing when I was studying at the university but in spanish, and as it happens when you conceived and idea in one language it just doesnt feel the same after a translation, so I better start writing new stuff in english.

I really have no idea what will be the subjet(s) of my writing but I promise wont be a lot of Mr. Fry involved I fulled my tweets with him already ;D.

I believe now is time to talk a little about me, I'm going to be quick about the basics I'm a mexican working psychologist. And like in my profile says for many years I lived well I dont know how to explain but I was just "living" until a I did a big mistake that even it was awful help to get out of that letargic stage in which you dont feel anything, you just watch the passing time. But I'm happy to say that now IM LIVING THANKS to the real loving person who surround me and help get through that dark period of my life.

But we have a saying in Mexico "Recordar es revivir" (remembering is to relive) so thats all Im going to say about that, depressing time feels like an eternity and the only use to remember those times is to see how wonderful is to be happy of who you are adn what you do. And I'm really happy to find these lovely people on twitter that encouraged me to do this, to you a big soul hug!!

So I hope keep this writing exercise active and why not maybe make some short stories about anything my little fluffy brain invent, some people like my cursing creativity!! ;D

Well to you reader I can only hope you peace and joy of your soul. Abrazos!!